I know I have been MIA lately. There have been a couple of things that have kept me busy. Let me explain myself. First, it felt like the right time for me to move on from my current position at BYU-Idaho. So without a plan and without any idea of what I wanted to do, I quit my job on faith and started furiously looking for a new position. With all my extra free time that I would normally devote to writing the blog, I spent writing cover letters and resumes. Well, the hard work all paid off! I will be joining the University of Utah as an Administrative and Event Coordinator for Kingsbury Hall in January. I am beyond excited to start! Meaning, I was also looking for housing, taking trips down to Utah to finalize everything. It’s been a wild ride of faith and persistence! Second, about two weeks ago I had my gallbladder removed. Ick, gross, yuck, and painful. I started having gall attacks on Thanksgiving night (of course, right?) after having two Thanksgiving meals (That’s probably what did me in). It wasn’t quite an emergent need to have the gallbladder taken out right then and there, but it did need to come out ASAP. The week after Thanksgiving I had to stage manage the largest show I might ever do (15,000 attendees, David Archuleta, and Nathan Pacheco. One of the coolest experiences ever!). I obviously wanted to be around for that so I postponed the surgery until after the performance. Although, the surgery was the Friday before finals. Eek. So that little ditty took up a ton of time, lying in my bed trying to recover. And lastly, I’ve met and started dating someone. He is the kindest, handsomest, most fun, makes-me-feel-like-a-million-dollars and sweetest man I have ever met. You know, new relationships do require a lot of time together. Not that I am complaining one bit, it has been so fun spending time with him. So sorry readers, he takes more priority than this right now. Here is our first picture together! Isn't Ryan cute?!
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The beginning of every school year sets off a time of retrospection for me (seeing as I have basically lived the "school life" my entire life, as a student and, now, a teacher).
I realized that a year ago tonight, something happened that I thought my life was going to be changed forever. It lasted a little while, but then it changed my life in a different way than I was expecting. I know I am being vague, deal with it. I look back from where I was emotionally, physically and mentally a year ago. I look at the decisions I have made during this year. I look at where I have gone, seen, experienced. I look at the growth that I have accomplished. But what does it all mean? Have I become the woman I wanted to become on that day, a year ago? I don't know if I have. And that bothers me. Driving back home from Utah tonight, I was listening (not singing, because this cold has got me sounding like a frog) to Waitress. My new favorite musical. Here are some lyrics from the song "She Used to be Mine" by Sara Barrielles It's not what I asked for Sometimes life just slips in through a back door And carves out a person And makes you believe it's all true And now I've got you And you're not what I asked for If I'm honest I know I would give it all back For a chance to start over And rewrite an ending or two For the girl that I knew I was angry that I wasn't the girl that I wanted to be a year out. But why did I need to be mad at myself? Why? Then I thought, "Just because I am not the girl that I thought I 'should' be or be in a place that I thought I 'should' be in, it's okay. Because it is what it is; I can't control the future. This is something I definitely learned this year. What an accomplishment!" There really shouldn't be any "should's" in life (ironic that I used the word that I'm telling everyone not to use, right? Ha!). I should be married by this age. I should have a job with benefits by this time. I should stay out late every Saturday night because I'm single. Etc... But that word, those thoughts, halter me from being me. I'm not married by the age I am now, and that's okay. I don't have a job with benefits right now, but I'm making it work. I am staying in tonight (Saturday) because I want to. So I'm not the girl I wanted to be a year ago, but I'm much much more than I could have ever imagined. Another verse from Waitress: Who'll be reckless just enough Who'll get hurt but Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised ... And then she'll get stuck and be scared Of the life that's inside her Growing stronger each day 'Til it finally reminds her To fight just a little To bring back the fire in her eyes That's been gone but it used to be mine YSA activities are fun are multiple levels. I will explain here why Southeast Idaho's most recent Multi-Stake YSA Luau was particularly amusing. First: you get to have fun themed parties with your friends! One of you goes to DI and finds surprise outfits to dress up in. See below for our men's Hawaiian shirts. We did have to cut shoulder pads out of one of these shirts, and one shirt came with a floor length skirt (not pictured here). We giggled over that skirt for a good ten minutes. Photo Cred: iPhone Self Timer
(It also took us like 10 tries inside and outside the house to get a decent photo. I should have brought my selfie stick. Lesson learned). Thank you Lindsey and Cassidy for going to DI to get us all decked out for the occasion. It totally made a difference! Second: you get GOOD food. The first question that is asked after every announcement of an activity is if/what kind of food will be there. This party had a rumored roasted pig within a pig, although I did not see the big within the pig with my own eyes (the joke “pig-ception” was made several times, every time with a smug look that the person was the only one to think of the joke). I intend to believe that plausible rumor about the pig within the pig for the rest of my life. Third: people watching. People watching is one of my favorite activities and Mormons are "a peculiar people." I love going to restaurants in Rexburg and interpreting how dates are going. I have even read books about body language to get better at this. YSA activities are none the less exciting, and here’s why. This particular YSA activity was a dance. And there was in attendance a boy from the ward I was in who is particularly… interesting. He has a tendency to over share personal stories in Sunday School and post sad/funny posts on our ward’s Facebook page. I know he is in need of some attention, but he is going about it in the wrong ways (I’m not a mean person! I am just stating fact here). Let’s call him Charlie. Towards the end of the night, a slow song came on. I was hot and without a dance partner so I decided to get some water. The slow song had ended by the time I walked passed one of my roommates. She pointed to the other side of the field where Charlie was still slow dancing with a girl after the slow song had ended, now into the next pop/rap song. Some in our group thought that was a little romantic, but the others thought it odd. I felt it was somewhere in the middle of cute and creepy… The girl he was dancing with did not seem to mind this little romantic gesture. So we watched what was going to happen next. We were all intrigued. Well, this goes “slow dancing” on for three songs. (Yes, we are watching for all three songs). A part of me was worried for her safety; he gives all the girls the creeps, I mean ALL the girls. I am not sure she realized this yet… She looked a little young, and if she is anything like me as a 19-year-old, I would have fallen for that too. In the middle of the second song, Charlie switched his forward facing hat, so that the brim is facing backwards. Oh, man… He is totally going to go in for a kiss! A group of my friends have now gathered watching this interaction. Straight up staring. There was no subtly from our group. It takes another song and a half before he moves in. (Most of the group misses it, because we were laughing at a joke someone made. Two people saw the kiss, I was not one of them). Props to you dude. Bold, very bold. But we could tell the girl wasn’t that into it. She was more taken by surprise. I mean, I was surprised she was surprised. There were lots of signs! But just because she slow danced for four (not-all slow songs) with a guy, doesn’t mean she wanted him to make the move. After the kiss her body language changed, and as the fourth song ended she broke the hold and crossed her arms. We concluded that she liked the kiss because she kept hanging around. Although, it was clear she didn’t want it to happen again. The dance ended and they started walking to the parking lot. Our little group starts to panic. We know that Charlie didn’t drive himself there. We weren’t sure where his ride went, but he wasn’t talking to anyone about getting a ride. He was following her to her car! We knew that maybe it wasn’t a good idea for the girl to be alone with Charlie. Maybe someone a little older could have held her own, but she looked a little naïve. (Yes, I am making assumptions here; but her look and body language was helping us with those assumptions). Our group and this couple crossed paths on the way to the parking lot when we over hear her say, “Do you need a ride home?” Uh oh. We need to do something. Our group got in our car. We were all chatting about how to save the girl from him. The driver was like “let’s just go shine our lights on them for a minute, maybe that will break them up.” So we did. But it was obvious more action was required. Without a plan, I jumped out of the car. I needed to save her. I turn on the flashlight to my phone. Right as I am walking up the girl’s two friends also walk to up and makes their way to the car. A little bit of relief comes over me. But I’m still in motion. A thought came to me! I acted like I “lost” my keys. I asked Charlie and the three girls to help me find the keys. I was sure that I had lost them in the exact area where they were standing. Everyone started to look around. I had no plan from there. How was this going to help save the girl? One comforting moment was when I overheard the two friends talking to Charlie’s girl that they needed a ride home too. Good, she wouldn’t be completely alone with him the whole time. This search goes on for a couple of minutes and I had no out. I needed to make one. This was going nowhere. I look back at the car and yelled to my friends, “Can you guys check in the car again for my keys?” Hoping that my friends would pick up on the fact that I wanted out there. They did pick up on my hint! They waved my keys out the window and yelled, “They were in here the whole time!” “Oh, silly me! Thanks for the help everyone!” I said, and I got back in the car. That was pointless. I updated my friends on what I overheard and we concluded there was nothing left we could do. So we begin our journey home, still worried over her safety. A couple minutes into our drive, my one friend leans over to me and says, “You could have whispered to her friends not to leave her alone with him.” WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT? That would have been a great idea, but alas, I wasn’t that quick on my feet. The girl would suffer a consequence that I couldn’t get her out of. I guess you really can’t help everyone. And some Mormons are really a peculiar people Lesson learned. For the rest of the weekend I wondered what happened to the girl. We all hoped that she made it out unscathed. Although, the mystery will probably never be solved. To all you girls out there reading this, be careful about who you left slow dance with you for four songs. You never know where it could lead. All in all, it was a fun night. I got to dress up, eat pig within a pig, and got to people watch with a meager attempt to try to save a girl from a creepy guy. Although I was unsuccessful in two of the three things, the YSA activity did not disappoint in the entertainment factor. That’s manly what YSA activities are for. |
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